The First Step

Dear stranger,

I have recently started reminiscing about my younger days. I am, now where and who I wanted to be. If you take away the feeling I get every time I step foot out of my house, the overwhelming fear of what could happen, and the heavy feeling that pushes on my chest. So yeah, if you take away that, I am what you could call prime age. During my reminiscing, I thought about my childhood home, my parents, and me in the driveway. I had wanted to learn how to ride a bike, but I didn't have one. So, they threw me on, what at the time felt like a huge bike. They promised and assured me they would hold on to the bike and me being only three, trusted them. I was young so I couldn't reach the pedals without standing and that's what I did. I pedaled and pedaled and when I turned around there they were and the other side of the driveway looking at me. I felt infinite. I immediately made them take me on a ride around the neighborhood so I could show off to all the cool big kids who were all, ironically, the age I am now. I felt amazing and during my reminiscing, I realized I haven't felt that way in a long time. It made me think of why. I want to remember that feeling, like really remember that feeling. I don't know when being happy became hard, not to say I'm not happy because I am. It's just harder to achieve that feeling. I don't really know what I'm saying or if it is even making sense but if someone out there knows what I'm feeling then maybe, just maybe, I can have some peace.

-Blue